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Another Capricorn Joins the Farm

1/7/2018

4 Comments

 
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Many months ago amid the drizzly, dreary weather between spring and summer, I began crocheting an afghan and a pint sized hat from silky soft yarn made from alpaca fiber. These little gifts were for a tiny human I had yet to meet. The projects not only kept my hands busy but they kept my mind preoccupied too. Counting and recounting stitches; these crafts needed to be perfect. They were something I could control while life was spinning wildly uncertain around me. I had just found out that I was carrying a life smaller than a thimble inside of me.

Miscarriage takes something away from you. Not only are your dreams shattered. Not only is your baby gone. But with those things, your confidence leaves too. Exiting your body with blood, flesh, and tears is also a glimmer of hope and trust. Conviction in your body’s abilities simply disappears. In its place a well of doubt, pity, and loathing takes shape. A sufficient shadow of despair looms overhead.

It is said that ignorance is bliss, and that may partially be true. The elation of a positive pregnancy test is a feeling unsurpassed, especially for a couple wanting for nothing more than to become parents. The incomprehension that the life inside of you could perish in an instant is nothing short of crude. It seems that only after you have suffered such an intolerable pain do you actually hear of similar stories; do the statistics meet your ears. Realizing you are not alone offers a little solace.

Miscarriage lends to incredible loneliness and much time for reflection. News of other people’s pregnancies can yield feelings of disbelief, jealousy, resentment, and even anger… particularly when they tell you that “this one wasn’t planned.” This scenario can impart guilt.

Eventually there is an unnoticeable upward shift in emotion. The ambiguity fades. You might find yourself taking surprising pleasure in the good fortune of family or friends. This feels foreign and allowing it to happen can feel strange at first, as if somehow you’re dishonoring your pregnancy or your baby. This is healing from miscarriage.

Miscarriage takes something away from you, or at least it did from me five years ago. If ever you’re lucky enough to become pregnant again you realize that it’s not carefree. It can’t be. You’re constantly wondering when the next shoe will fall. You quickly begin to understand that if you are to hold onto any shred of mental health, you must find sovereignty any way you can.

For me, self regulation meant a lot of handiwork. I crocheted until my hands cramped and then I crocheted some more. I wrote positive affirmations, repeating the same words every evening, until they became etched in my brain.

And the only other thing that I knew I could control was limiting who I shared news of this pregnancy with. I have not guarded this information to keep other people in the dark, but rather because it was so damn hard to explain when things went south before. Five years ago family and friends and even strangers would congratulate me, or ask how the pregnancy was going, or when I was due, or how I was feeling. I would have to explain that the baby died. My baby died. I dealt with awkward silence, screwed up faces of pity, and words of ill placed perception. Very few people had prudence to offer the consolation I needed to hear; 6 words: I am sorry for your loss! I could not go through those interactions again. I would not survive it!

I have literally been counting the days and weeks and months. I have been agonizing over the what-ifs. I have been trying to find joy in the baby’s movements and positivity in heartbeats, but it’s been inexplicably hard. Many people, good-kind-wonderful people make it to full term and yet are heartbroken with stillborn babies. There is no explanation and there is never any guarantee. There is a reality of loss I was completely oblivious to before. Being aware of it now makes me more conscious of protecting my mental health.

We chose to announce our pregnancy to very few people. To those who honored our request for confidence, we are forever indebted to you. You helped protect our emotions and you not only respected our wishes but also regarded the fragility of the unknown as a privilege. Thank you for your love and support and understanding. To the close family and friends who didn’t judge when we politely declined a baby shower and gifts beforehand, we also thank you. Holding my deceased baby’s clothes in my hands and covering them with tears on a nightly basis was my reality five years ago. I could not go through that again. I refused to become attached to belongings until I had a healthy, live baby in my arms for those possessions.

We waited until the end of the first trimester to tell Mallory she was going to be a big sister again. Her response: “I just hope this one doesn’t die.” We all had a lot of ghosts. Those phantoms have recently been laid to rest.

We are very pleased to announce that our rainbow baby, Sullivan Matthew Bourdeau, arrived safely Earth-side in the comfort of our home on Saturday, January 6th at 1:38 am. He weighed 9 lbs. 4 oz and was 20 ¾ inches long at birth. We are trying to rest and, and we are adjusting to our life as a family of four. We will reach out when we are ready for visitors.

Sully’s birth was the most intense and empowering experience of my life. His homebirth story will be a post for another day but suffice to say that holding him in my arms is surreal. It is worth every moment of the last seven year struggle to become a mother to another child here on Earth. I am incredibly grateful to Katherine Bramhall of Gentle Landing Midwifery for her reassurance in my innate ability to do this.

I am grateful to Nathanial Snay for his assistance with plowing our accounts through the snow and wind storm so that Mark could make it home in time to support me.

And we are forever grateful to Jamie Dubie for opening her home and her family to Mallory, not just Friday night but over the last 12 years. Words can’t describe how it eased my mind and allowed me to enter this birth journey without a worry in the world to know that she was being cared for and loved.

​In parting, I’d just like to offer a few words to other mamas out there who are walking similar paths as mine. You are loved. You are supported. And you are not alone. Please continue to hope beyond hope, listen to and heal your body and your heart, and make your wishes come true however that can be for you. Please know that I am willing to lend a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen anytime. You are not alone!

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4 Comments

Personal Development

1/2/2018

 
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Evelyn (Symonds) Gonyaw and Aunt Josephine (Gonyaw) Tayler-June 24, 1941
January 1st marked what would have been the 103rd birthday of my late great grandmother. I spent the morning thinking about her and other elderly folks we have lost who offered so much kindness and many unwritten lessons. It seems there is some misunderstood cruel rhythm which causes these folks to depart from our lives around the holidays.

2017 was no exception.  Our neighborhood lost a couple really great souls in December, one of which was my former history teacher.  Mr. Olsen exemplified Maya Angelou’s quote, “At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” Erik was the only teacher in my entire public school experience who left me feeling like an equal human being. He leveled with kids, even using his first name when signing our yearbooks.  Later, in my adult life I learned that Danes tend to introduce themselves with their first name, but whether this was tradition or trademark didn’t matter. What matters is that this incredible man touched so many lives because of the way he made people feel.   I am grateful to have known Erik Olsen, and feel incredibly blessed that his family and our family have crossed paths in more ways that anyone ever could have imagined. May he rest in peace, and may his impressions continue to spread kindness.

As is typical with New Year’s Day, our family discussed resolutions. Mallory announced that she was making an achievement list instead of a resolution list. When I asked her if it shouldn’t be labeled a ‘Goal List’ instead she advocated that it should not because goals are setting wants and desires, whereas achievements are establishing what is done. She informed me that she would accomplish these things so she was calling them achievements. It’s hard to argue with 13 year old logic sometimes. Her list includes some really creative items such as taking a photograph of the same thing every day for an entire year to see how it changes.

I wasn’t going to make any resolutions, but I decided that if my daughter was going to commit to work on projects then I could too. I was determined to do more of what I enjoy in 2018: writing, photography, genealogy, and spending more time in the barn, garden, and kitchen.

To honor a legacy left by one of our elders I chose to channel my great grandma and make homemade biscuits with chicken gravy for dinner. It’s a hot, stick-to-your-ribs kind of meal… the perfect remedy for the sub-zero temperatures which have plagued us for the better part of a week. I love to bake but don’t do it nearly enough, and so as is typical when I do bake I managed to set off the smoke detectors. They started going through their ear piercing seizures of alarms which sent our elderly German Shepherd Dog into a tizzy, frantic to herd her family outside to safety.  Little did she understand that -15*F was not conducive to spending oodles of time out of doors. We determined that this is also the temperature at which our house windows are frozen shut.  With no way to air the house out other than the ceiling fans, and the dog whistling through her nose the entire time, we ate chicken gravy and biscuits.

Oddly enough the smoke must have been caused from the grease which splattered the inside of the oven from roasting the chicken the previous night, because the biscuits were nearly perfect; flaky layers, just like Grammie Ah Ah used to make. She sure could bake: pies, bread, parker house rolls, and biscuits; all committed to memory with not so much as a shred of a recipe card to pass down to younger generations. I still hold vivid in my brain an image of her in the kitchen with her apron on. Being a farm wife in the kitchen with an apron on is traditional in a long line of strong women in my family. Thankfully I do have photos of her in that apron to pass on to my great grandchildren someday so that her spirit can continue to touch her descendants, even if farming and baking isn’t their cup of tea. Secretly I hope those passions flow through their genes though.
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Sometimes it’s really therapeutic to pause for part of a day and pay homage to memories. Reflection is imperative for personal development. We are wishing you all an opportunity for contemplation and growth in 2018.
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A Lesson in Honesty

11/7/2017

 
​This afternoon Mallory asked me if I enjoyed making fudge. I pondered her question for a little bit before replying. I said, “I enjoy that we have created a unique product with our goat milk. I enjoy making money to help contribute to this family’s finances. And I enjoy the goat project because it’s something we can do together. But, I don’t enjoy making fudge per se. Why?” Mallory said, “Because I would only make stuff to sell that I actually enjoyed making.” The innocence and honesty and wisdom of a 12 year old child are refreshing. Nevertheless, I began measuring ingredients to start my first batch of fudge this week in preparation for our biggest craft fair of the season on Saturday.

Over the years I’ve learned some extremely important things about confection making, usually by trial and error followed by lots of graphic phrases. It’s made the homeschooling lessons colorful to say the least. Candy making is actually a science. For example, atmospheric pressure affects the boiling point of water. It’s important to calibrate your candy thermometer in a pot of boiling water before beginning any fudge making. Water doesn’t always boil at 212 degrees Fahrenheit. If your boiling point of water is higher, then your soft-ball stage, the point at which you take your confection off the stove, will also be higher.

I feel like we’ve perfected the science of goat milk fudge making pretty darn well. It’s evident when someone who initially turns up their nose at the sound of goat milk because of associated stigmas closes their eyes and a broad smile spreads across their face after Mallory convinces them to try a free sample. We’ve won awards for our fudge. We are proud of what this homeschooling adventure has blossomed into. It’s because of these reasons that days like today royally rot!

Four failed batches of fudge. Four! No rhyme, no reason. We changed variables such as milk from a different goat, hoping for a glimmer of an explanation, and still ended up with a sticky, curdled mess. It’s frustrating!

And it brings me back to Mallory’s question before I even began making fudge today. Do I enjoy making fudge? As tears slip down my cheeks I realize that I don’t enjoy making fudge. I don’t enjoy wasting 12 cups of expensive organic sugar.  I have carpal tunnel syndrome and it’s excruciating to hand milk our does, but I do it so that Mallory can drink raw goat milk and so that we can make and sell goat milk fudge. I don’t enjoy wasting 6 cups of milk from goats that we pour every cent into to feed organically and managed holistically, and that I expend all my hand strength to milk. Failure is humbling.  I don’t like the disappointment of floundering in fudge, but if I am to be honest with myself I don’t really like making fudge. Honesty is noble, right?!

​As I am sitting here wallowing in self pity that is sometimes bubbling at the surface of motherhood I realize that there are things I do enjoy and maybe I should spend more time concentrating my efforts on those things. I enjoy homeschooling Mallory. The biggest lesson I think I can give her is to be honest with herself, though in today’s case I guess she schooled me on the importance of that.

Measuring Life's Moments With a Dung Fork and Wheelbarrow

9/27/2016

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On a recent sweltering day in August, I was cleaning out my goats’ stalls; yes, stalls. You see, the barn was originally built for horses. It was a painstaking labor of love from my husband for our equine pals. When the last horse passed on we were just “getting into goats” and figured that the barn would serve the sheltering purpose albeit overkill for these cloven hoofed creatures.

Goats prefer to come and go as they please. They don’t want to be stalled in pairs or quads, even if it means protecting them from inclement weather. They want to be able to choose where they go and when, not just in terms of geographical location but also in terms of manure. There are pluses and minuses to that. The positive is that goat manure is ready to use as fertilizer the moment it exits the goat’s body; no composting needed. The minus is that it’s too small to be effectively scooped up with a typical dung fork. It’s an all or nothing sort of clean up that’s required for goats. No bedding means that the manure pellets can be swept or raked up.  Too much bedding and you just have to shovel it all out, which can get expensive.

We found a system that seems to work for us.  I usually clean our stalls once a week which seems adequate considering they spend less than 12 hours a day inside. I bed with premium kiln dried shavings. The goats add hay droppings to this bedding with the exorbitant amount they waste when choosing the perfect stems for eating from their hay racks. It’s impossible to scoop poops per say, but the shavings absorb the urine.  We use lots of lime to neutralize the acidity. We also use diatomaceous earth to help combat creepy crawlies. I generally feel like I do a good job keeping the stalls in order. We want the freshest tasting milk that isn’t tainted by odor, and this seems to work. It’s definitely far from a manure pack system, but on this particular hot day it certainly smelled like it as I picked up the first fork full and set it into the wheelbarrow with more of a thud than I’d intended.

These stalls hadn’t been cleaned in a few weeks. I was far behind.  I had still been suffering with post-concussive syndrome from an automobile accident that occurred in December 2014. The month before, I went in for a spinal tap alleviating the excess fluid around my brain and returning my cerebrospinal fluid pressure to a normal range.  I’d been flat out with a spinal headache for the week following that procedure. My husband and daughter became the lifeline for the animals on our farm, which required quite a bit of physical labor considering the seasonal meat-producing animals (pigs, chickens, and turkeys) were still here, consuming more time than seems tangible. But, oh, the sweetness of satisfaction in tasting the sustenance they provide us after all our nurturing was something we were all looking forward to.  Despite my incapacitation, the animals got fed and watered thanks to my family. I instructed them not to worry about cleaning the goat stalls. I wanted to clean them when I felt well enough. Somehow I find it relaxing; a chance for meditation.

Little did I know that I’d be dealt another blow.  My health took a horrible turn for the worse. My vitality was compounded due to anemia from hemorrhaging. Pretty invasive testing had to be done, and the results hung somewhere between tissue in a jar of formalin and a cytology report. Mentally, I was wasted. Positive affirmations weren’t any comfort.  I just wanted to have energy enough to work in my garden with golden sunshine warming my face. I had started a new regime of blood building herbal concoctions, as well as some natural progesterone cream.  It was appearing to work, but I knew it would be a slow process for my body to heal. Regardless, the stalls needed to be cleaned. I knew the animals weren’t living in squalor, thanks to many more bags of kiln dried shavings being piled on top of soiled bedding, but the cleanliness of my barn and the health of my animals have always been paramount.

I was still was weak. My arms felt like jelly worms and the dung fork like a lead weight. I could do this. It’s only three stalls. I was out of practice, but I’m inherently strong and even more strong-willed. Plus, this smell was pungent and I vowed to not yield until the work was finished. I set my phone on the ladder to the hay loft after spending a few minutes determining where our wireless internet reached so I could still hear my music.

Thompson Square started playing from my phone.
“We may shine, we may shatter,
We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us”

I paused long enough to think about these lyrics, grabbed the dung fork again, and began shoveling into the wheelbarrow. Hot. It was so hot. The air was acrid. The flies were relentless. I swear my sweat was sweating. I had just loaded an entire wheelbarrow full in just 5 forkfuls. This was going to take all freaking afternoon! I took hold of the barrow’s wooden handles and lifted. Surprised by the once familiar weight, I awkwardly rolled it out of the barn. The incessant wind hit my face, cooling the sweat and even making goose bumps stand up on my arms. The manure pile seemed so far away. Why did we move it out behind the buck shed anyway? Too bad it’s not winter. I could just dump it here and plow it down to the pile with the truck. Damn stinky buck is heading into rut already too. Great! Load one was barely dumped and our flock of free ranging chickens attacked it like little velociraptors, consuming any maggots and scratching for any sunflower seeds the goats might have dropped into their bedding, happy for any discarded waste.

Back in the barn Gary Allan’s voice filled the air.
“But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way
Of taking its own sweet time.
No, life ain't always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life ain't always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride.”

His words were true. I wished happiness, and healthiness, would hurry the hell up though. Surely, mucking manure was not beautiful, but I was back in my barn. Only about a gazillion more burdening trips to the pile with dung, I thought.

I kept shoveling. I found myself singing along to the lyrics and realized that the sweat and the flies weren’t bothering me anymore, and the smell was subsiding as the barn became emptier. I was nearly finished before I knew it. Literally, two forkfuls of shit were all that remained in the last stall and the wheelbarrow could not hold anymore.  I had to go back to the manure pile with a 16th, near empty, load. It was as if life was saying one more ‘screw you’.

I checked my phone for the time and quickly did the math. I’d really finished three stalls that had piled up for three weeks in just 48 minutes. Really?! With a burst of pride, I set to sprinkling the stalls with pulverized lime and diatomaceous earth. I zipped open the plastic bags of shavings with my utility knife, and shook their contents into each stall with the greatest of abandon. I felt rejuvenated. Taking a deep breath, pine phenols filled my nostrils. I spread the shavings level with the pressure-treated wooden ledge of the barn frame with the fork. Everything looked refreshed, and I was gratified. I shut the music off and checked the time. Elated, I sent a text to my husband: I’m baaa-aaack! 1 hour to do all the stalls.

I walked down to the spot in the pasture where the goats were browsing on lush green. Sitting down, I noticed the wind had either died down or I was close enough to the trees in the stone wall that I was sheltered from it a little. Still sweat drenched but happy, I watched the goats take mouthful after nourishing mouthful. I listened to them chewing, swallowing, bringing up their cud, chewing some more, and swallowing again. I heard the Hairy Woodpecker tapping the maple tree behind me. The sun was sinking lower and I could begin to feel the oppressive heat dissipate. The ground was cool but hard and strong. For the first time in over a year and a half, I felt like I was on solid ground.

I thought about my life; its healthy direction forward. I thought about the goats; the pleasure their company provides. I thought about my daughter; the way she lights up my life and how important our farm is to her. I thought about the hard work of cleaning the barn, and I realized that life is a little bit like the dung fork and the wheelbarrow. Sometimes you have to shovel through more shit than you’d like. Sometimes you can only bear so much weight. Eventually though, the burden is gone. Relaxation, beauty, satisfaction and peace fill the empty space. It feels damn good.
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Homeschooling Reflection

8/5/2016

 
This morning I was driving home from dropping our (homeschooled) daughter off at “Beautiful Sweaty Girl Camp” – a two day mountain biking clinic, when my mind wandered to the stack of endless bills that I need to pay today. In thinking about that, I was contemplating the idea that possibly we indulge our child with too many opportunities. I pondered that if we didn’t spend money on outsourcing educational genres that we feel less capable of teaching, we might have more money to cover the expenses of life. But you know… we are allowing her to explore in safe ways. We are cultivating her recreational interests. And it’s not as though she didn’t contribute. She saved money from her quail and duck eggs sales to purchase a helmet and riding gloves. She traded in her two-sizes-too-small bike toward the cost of an appropriately sized one. Plus, maybe this will build a foundation for a healthier lifestyle than we were taught to engage in; at the very least it will offer her a hobby where she can let her mind wander and reflect on life’s intricacies.

I am very guilty of comparing homeschooled or unschooled children to publicly schooled children. I do think it’s because I’ve needed to be on the defense for so long (to our family and friends) about our decision to school at home and the merits of such. Especially after hearing about my daughter’s day yesterday, it solidifies our decision that this is the correct path for us. Her handlebars fell off her bike and she couldn’t steer. She had to stop in the path, holding up the the rest of the crew momentarily, while trying to figure out how to solve this hiccup. One (public schooled) girl said, “Geesh! You’d think you could move out of the way.” *I’m not sure where she thought she could go anyway, because they were riding as a group and needed to stick together.* Meanwhile, one of our home-schooled acquaintances stopped, grabbed a wrench and came to help repair the bike. Now, it’s not as though I expect to shelter my kid from rude people for the rest of her life, because I know that’s impossible. It’s moments like this, however, that make me grateful for the helpful and encouraging and polite attitude that homeschooling fosters.

Each year we reevaluate our position on homeschooling and our ability to provide quality education for our child. We parents discuss the logistics, such as struggling to survive on less than two incomes. We pull Mallory into the conversation to make sure it is still working for her. We discuss concepts for change and reflect on ideas that were successful. As our end-of-year teacher assessment draws near, I consider our accomplishments and also fret about our shortfalls. I'm overly analytical about success and how it's measured.


I can also find solace in knowing that I am capable of facilitating these off the farm and out of our home learning occasions for her benefit, not mine. Listening to many of the other parents in the parking lot, who were dropping their kids off, they cannot stand to be around their children in the summer. They fill the summer with camps just so that they can get a break from their children. As if the 7 hours a day, 180 days a year wasn’t enough time away. Soon the kiddos will be grown and gone and they’ll wonder where the time went. I won’t!

I arrived home to find this very aptly timed post in my email inbox: benhewitt.net/2016/08/05/so-i-let-it/  If you haven't read Ben's writing, I'd encourage you to do so. Your life might feel richer and more connected.

Here's a pic of my beautiful, sweaty, athletic girl and her friends. Photo courtesy of  Vermont Mountain Bike Camps.
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Rules of Buck Ownership

3/20/2016

 
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Notice: This guide is in no way a complete reference to all the care that your buck could need. There are several great resources available that can also guide you in the care of your buck. Above all else, remember to follow the advice of your trusted and experienced ruminant veterinarian.

General Rules of Buck Ownership:
  1. Do not house your buck with your does!
    1. Bucks can seriously injure does by excessively breeding them, either when they are in heat or when they have a hormone surge toward the end of pregnancy.
    2. You won’t have any control over breeding if housed together, and therefore would have no idea when to expect kids, and this could lead to serious complications for the doe or kids if you’re ill prepared.
    3. Aggressive bucks can injure or kill kids.
    4. A goat kid of either gender can be fertile at 7 weeks of age (as early as 4 weeks of age for Nigerian Dwarf goats). Intact bucks can and will breed anything, which could impregnate their mother or two month old sister.
    5. A really rogue buck can spray urine, not only on himself, but on anyone housed with him leading to urine scald (a serious skin condition).
    6. Milk quality of your does will be affected by the stench of the buck.
    7. Fencing which will contain does is not adequate for a buck.
  2. Bucks need company!
    1. Goats are herd animals and need companionship.
    2. A wether (neutered male) goat is often a really great companion for a buck.
    3. However, if you are getting one intact buck (and you have an adequate number of does for them to breed), getting a second buck to keep the first company is a more money conscious decision.
  3. Your buck is half your herd!
    1. A mature buck can service upwards of 50 – 100 does per day. We usually do not recommend getting a buck until you have at least 6 does who will need servicing.
    2. Bucks can improve your herd quality quickly, and ruin it just as quickly.
    3. Seriously consider the above when thinking about offering breeding services to outside does just because you “could make a few dollars”. The health of the does the buck services are as important as the health of your doe herd. Disease tested negative for CAE, CL, and Johne’s is a must, as is checking for internal and external parasites.
  4. A buck is not a pet!
    1. They are driven by testosterone and are not to be trusted.
    2. Do not ever turn your back on a buck in rut, ever!
    3. This is not to say that you shouldn’t work with your buck. Daily handling and socialization go a long way towards having a cooperative member of your herd and breeding program.
    4. Should you feel threatened and need to control your buck to get yourself to safety, grab hold of your buck’s beard hard and DO NOT LET GO. Back yourself out of the buck enclosure and do not release the beard until you have a solid door ready to close between you and your buck.
    5. Bucks have sex! Lots and lots of sex! Bucks have sex indiscriminately. Bucks have sex with does. Bucks have sex with other bucks. Bucks have sex with wethers (neutered males). Bucks have sex with themselves. Yes, they suck themselves off. Bucks have sex with tree stumps, fences, water buckets, and more.  Bucks in rut would like to have sex with humans. This could be dangerous! A buck is not a pet! Got it? Good!
  5.  Strong fences make good neighbors!
    1. In this case, your buck is your neighbor. And, if you have human neighbors nearby, an even stronger fence is a good idea.
    2. A wise veterinarian once told me to throw a bucket of water at a fence. He chuckled and said, “If water can go through a fence, so can a goat.” This old sentiment was not far from the truth.
    3. If they can’t go through it, they will climb over it.
    4. Bucks require fencing of adequate height and strength, sometimes backed up with electricity for insurance.
  6. Be ready to deal with piss! Lots and lots of piss!
    1. Urine is a plenty.
    2. Bucks urinate on themselves. They soak their belly, chest, front legs, beards, and faces with urine. This often leads to urine scald.
    3. Urine stinks. It’s imperative to have a separate change of clothes designated to buck handling.
      1. There is no smell like it and it’s nearly impossible to eliminate, though we have found some really good goat milk soap that works on our hands and clothes.
      2. P.S. Handling is a must. Remember, hooves need to be trimmed monthly.
    4. Bucks drink their own urine.
    5. It’s important to provide lots of fresh water often because all of the urinating requires lots of hydration. Without enough hydration, buck can get urinary calculi (a urinary stone which will block the urethra preventing the buck from being able to urinate properly, usually resulting in death.
    6. Additionally, urine soaked beards foul the water and then the bucks won’t drink it.
      1. Note: Some folks prefer to cut off the beards for this reason. We do not. We like their “handle” should we need it in an emergency situation. It’s easier to provide lots of fresh water.
  7. Be ready for disgusting habits!
    1. These are intended to get the attention of the lady goats.
    2. Blubbering
    3. Tongue flapping
    4. Leg throwing
    5. Lip curling (Flehmen Response)
    6. It’s all quite a show, but no matter what don’t ever laugh at, ridicule or make fun of your buck for any of his behaviors. Some really expensive and wonderful genetics have been greatly ruined by bucks becoming depressed from being picked on by their human handlers or bystanders, and refusing to breed ever again. Yes, it’s happened!
  8. Do not kill them with kindness!
    1. Bucks rarely need grain!
      1. This is important! Do we have your attention? Good!
      2. Imbalanced nutrition causes metabolic changes resulting in kidney and bladder stones. These are called uroliths. Uroliths can block the urethra. If the urethra gets blocked, the buck cannot urinate. If the buck cannot urinate they can become septic and/or their bladder can rupture. If this happens, the buck will die. Most often, uroliths are not treatable. Prevention is your best medicine.
      3. So… what do you feed your buck?
      4. HAY! Lots of good quality hay!
      5. If you choose to feed grain, here are some good points:
        1. It is important that the calcium:phosphorus ratio is 2:1.
        2. Bucks should never eat alfalfa.
        3. Bucks should never eat sweet feed.
        4. Bucks can be feed a pellet feed that is designed for sheep and goat, provided the calcium:phosphorus ratio is correct. But, they really don’t need it.
    2. Bucks can have “extras” as their “grain” to help make handling easier. Here are some good examples:
      1. 1 cup of black oil sunflower seeds.
      2. ½ cup pumpkin seeds.
      3. 6 Brazil nuts.
      4. a clove of garlic
      5. chopped apples
      6. chopped carrots
      7. 1 tbsp. flax seeds
      8. 1 tbsp. sesame seeds
      9. NOTE: We feed all the above to our bucks daily and never have to worry about urinary calculi.
    3. Provide some boredom busters if you’re worried they “need something”. Here are some ideas:
      1. A smashed pumpkin
      2. An evergreen tree or multiple boughs.
      3. A stump to jump on.
    4. Bucks need good minerals!
      1. We offer Golden Blend minerals free choice. I never put out more than 1 cup at a time though, as it degrades with moisture.
      2. We offer ¼ c. of Sea Life kelp per buck per day.
      3. Himalayan salt blocks offer a pure salt source in addition to the above.
  9. Be ready to train your buck!
    1. Teaching a buck kid to lead will be your most valuable tool. This is important for all handling that will happen in his life, as especially useful when he’s matured to 200 lbs.
    2. Do not let a goat kid do what you would not want an adult goat to do!
    3. “No” and “Yes” with appropriate tones and body language work wonders.
    4. Goats can be clicker trained!
  10. Bucks are not for everyone!
    1. ​They are all cute and cuddly when born, but that changes as they mature and are driven by testosterone.
    2. Consider having your does serviced by a disease free (tested negative) buck to avoid the potential problems of owning one.
Helpful References:
  1. Storey’s Guide to Raising Dairy Goats by Jerry Belanger & Sara Thomson Bredesen
  2. www.fiascofarm.com
  3. Your vet!!!!!

Picture

Book List for the Holistic Farmer

8/29/2015

 
"You cannot open a book without learning something." - Confucius


We are often asked what resources we reference and recommend. In the age of technology, many people are straying away from actual books. Partly because we desire to hold onto a somewhat simplistic life, and partly because our daughter Mallory is a kinesthetic learner, we have books. Lots and lots of books! 


Up until recently, Mallory didn't enjoy reading, but she has always had an affinity for books. The smell, the sound, the feel of books has always been comforting. She enjoyed being read to or listening to an audio book from infancy. As a toddler, she'd often run her hands over the smooth pages of a new book, and she'd smile when it made that unmistakable sound of a virgin binding being opened for the first time. She'd giggle when I'd fan the pages blowing her wispy tufts of hair around her cherub face. And, she'd smell the books, the way one might smell a flower. Mallory's senses are still a large part of her experience of life.


I, on the other hand, just love to read. I don't remember a time in my life when I wasn't able to read. As a child I wanted to be Alice in Wonderland. I wanted to disappear down a rabbit hole and have an adventure. I quickly realized that books held the key to knowledge. As my passion for reading was cultivated and grew, so did my bookshelf!


My personal library expanded as I was working toward my veterinary technology certification, and has exploded even more with our quest to provide our family and our community with healthy and humanely raised meat and dairy and eggs.


I'm going to list a plethora of titles and will try to group by species; however, it's important to note that many of these books contain information for many animal types. Additionally, many of the titles for cattle can be of assistance with goats and vice versa.  Keep in mind that not all of these books touch on natural care. Over time, I've had to change my way of thinking from what was instinctive, to what was taught to me in allopathic medicine, and then back to natural, organic, holistic and humane. While this list is extensive, it's not exclusive. We love suggestions, so please feel free to pass along a title you recommend too.
  • Storey's Guide to Raising Dairy Goats by Jerry Belanger
  • Storey's Guide to Raising Meat Goats by Maggie Sayer
  • Alternative Treatments for Ruminant Animals by Paul Dettloff, DVM
  • Raising Goats Naturally by Deborah Niemann
  • Small Scale Livestock Farming by Carol Ekarius
  • Natural Goat Care by Pat Coleby
  • Goats: Homeopathic Remedies by George MacLeod, DVSM
  • Goat Husbandry by David Mackenzie
  • Goats Produce, Too by Mary Jane Toth
  • The Accessible Pet, Equine and Livestock Herbal by Kat Drovdahl
  • The Complete Herbal Handbook for Farm and Stable by Juliette de Baïracli Levy
  • Keep Livestock Healthy by Dr. N. Bruce Haynes
  • Grass Fed Cattle by Julius Ruechel
  • The Cattle Health Handbook by Heather Smith Thomas
  • Storey's Guide to Raising Pigs by Kelly Klober
  • Managing Pig Health and the Treatments of Disease by Michael R. Muirhead and Thomas J.L. Alexander
  • How To Raise Pigs by Philip Hasheider
  • Storey's Guide to Raising Beef Cattle by Heather Smith Thomas
  • Storey's Guide to Raising Rabbits by Bob Bennett
  • Storey's Guide to Raising Sheep by Paula Simmons
  • Natural Sheep Care by Pat Coleby
  • Storey's Guide to Raising Chickens by Gail Damerow
  • Storey's Guide to Raising Poultry by Glenn Drowns
  • Storey's Guide to Raising Ducks by Dave Holderread
  • Eggs & Poultry Made at Home by Dick & James Strawbridge
  • The Yoga of Herbs by Dr. David Frawley and Dr. Vasant Lad
  • The Complete Book of Homeopathy by Michael Weiner & Kathleen Goss
  • The Joy of Hobby Farming by Michael and Audrey Levatino
  • Hobby Farm by Carol Ekarius
  • The Profitable Hobby Farm by Sarah Beth Aubrey
  • Starting & Running Your Own Small Farm Business by Sarah Beth Aubrey
  • Stable Smarts by Heather Smith Thomas
  • Veterinary Notes for Horse Owners by Captain M Horace Hayes, FRCVS
  • The Merck Veterinary Manual by E. Merck
  • Quick Reference to Veterinary Medicine by William R. Fenner
  • The Complete Guide to Natural Health for Dogs & Cats by Dr. Richard Pitcairn, DVM
  • Holistic Guide for a Healthy Dog by Wendy Volhard & Kerry Brown, DVM
  • The New Natural Cat by Anitra Frazier
  • The Natural Remedy Book for Dogs & Cats by Diane Stein
  • Homeopathic First Aid for Animals by Kaetheryn Walker

There are also some wonderful Facebook groups that offer advice and knowledge for the holistically minded farmer.

  • Totally Natural Goat
  • Common Sense Holistic Goats & Goat Care
  • The Natural Goat Discussions
  • Natural, Holistic and Pastured Goat and Sheep Care
  • Goat Facilities
  • Caprine Conformation Clinic
  • Learning About LGDs (Livestock Guardian Dogs)
  • Pastured Pigs
  • Herbal Hog Husbandry
  • Botanical Bovines
  • Common Sense Holistic Horses & Horse Care
  • Plant Identification
  • Plant Identification and Discussion
  • Poultry Natural Living & Herbal Care
  • Raising Livestock Naturally
  • Essential Oils For Livestock
  • Vermont Center for Integrative Herbalism

Venipuncture

3/15/2015

 
We were asked for more video (especially those providing instructions or methods of our procedures here on our farm), so here is a blood drawing video. Here we are drawing blood on Daffodil to send to the New Hampshire Veterinary Diagnostic Laboratory for pregnancy testing. It's been about 30 days since Daffodil was bred to Jackson Browne. Step #1: Gather your supplies. You will need a syringe, needle and blood tube. We use a 6 ml luer lock syringe, a 20 gauge x 1" needle, and a red top tube. Our reasoning behind the luer lock vs. regular luer tip is because we've had instances while drawing blood or giving injections where the needle has slipped off. It's messy and inaccurate and makes it worth having the locking type of tip. Additionally, the lab only needs 1 ml (cc) of blood, but we choose the larger syringe size because it is easier to manipulate the plunger one handed. Again, personal preference. We choose a 1" needle not because the vein is 1" below the surface of the skin but because goats have thick winter coats and we want enough length to be able to accurately perform the draw. The lab requires whole blood, which is our reason for the red top tube. Blood tubes come in many colors and sizes depending on the test requirements. Step #2: Get your goat. Get your handler. You want your goat and your handler to be comfortable and safe. You want your goat to move as little as possible to make the procedure as stress free and as accurate as possible, and often times this is done with minimal restraint. Step #3: Locate the vein and apply pressure to the vein below the area where you will be drawing. Sometimes it's necessary to shave the hair away or apply alcohol to dampen the hair to be able to visualize it properly. We usually skip these steps as it provides undue worry to the animal. Step #4: While holding pressure on the vein with the left hand, insert the needle through the skin and into the vein with the right hand. Pull the plunger slowly and evenly to allow the blood to enter the syringe. Step #5: Remove your left hand from the animal, releasing pressure from the vein. Step #6: Remove the needle from the vein at the same angle you inserted it and immediately apply pressure to that area, for a few seconds, with your left hand to prevent any bleeding. Step #7: Insert your needle into the blood tube and allow the vacuum system to pull the blood from the syringe into the tube. Step #8: Give your goat lots of praise and/or treats. Step #9: Label tube and refrigerate for mailing. Step #10: Fill out appropriate submission form and mail sample and submission form to the lab. Please note: This is our method of blood drawing. Every person uses a different technique. Some people use a vacutainer needle and holder. We find that this is just one more thing to hold onto and/or lose should the animal move. Please follow the advice of your veterinarian. Good luck in your endeavors!

    Kristin Plante

    I am Certified Veterinary Technician turned goat farmer, homesteader and home-schooling mama. Thank you for following my journey.

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